I was reading a daily devotional the other day and it said “some of my most precious children have laid aside in sickbeds or shut away in prisons. Others have voluntarily learned the discipline of spending time alone with me. The secret of being thankful is learning to see everything from MY perspective. My world is your classroom. My word is a lam to your feet and a light to your path.”
This hit me so hard for so many different reasons. There are many people that think that if you get sick, or get cancer, let’s say that you did something wrong. Even the person themselves can think that. There are others that think all people in jail are bad and that’s not true either. We ALL make mistakes. We can probably all think of a time that we did something and BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD we either were not caught, or nothing happened to us. I know that rings true for me and I do look back and know that it’s because of the grace of God and HIS hand upon me that I am here today.
My son Daniel was talking to me last night after I read this devotional out loud and I stopped and thanked God again. He asked why it said that people in sickbeds and jail are precious. I told him ALL children of God are precious, that He loves all of us. No matter what we have done, no matter what we do daily, He loves us. He may not be happy with our choices, but once we have confessed Jesus to be our Lord and Saviour, there is no taking it back, the love is unconditional.
Then I explained that when I had breast cancer, it wasn’t because of anything that I had done wrong, but it was a way for me to grow closer to God. He looked at me strange and I told him that I loved God before and I had faith and trust, but because I went through everything last year with surgeries and the diagnosis, it brought me closer to God. That without that happening in my life, it could have taken years to get that closeness, if ever. I almost feel blessed that I went through breast cancer so that I can really see who my ROCK is, who my Comforter is and who my strength comes from – God.
There are times that God just wants us to spend time with Him and by having a sickness or being confined, sometimes that can just be a way to remind us that He is in control of everything. That He wants us to lean on Him and to take ALL of our burdens away, not just some of them but ALL of them. They are not ours to carry for His word even says, my yolk is easy and my burden is light. So, why do we always carry around our junk? Habit? Stubbornness? Pride? Why?
I have found that when trouble, trials or hard things come my way, it’s so much easier to give it up to God because I have learned that I can’t do it on my own. I can’t cope with all that I go through on a daily basis. I can’t be all and everything to my boys and husband alone – I need help – I need the strength of the Lord and I call for it daily. Yes, daily. There are so many people that tell me they can’t believe how amazing I”m doing or even forget I had cancer. But for me, that struggle is not over. There is a daily struggle with the hormones they give me and the side effects. There is a daily struggle of not knowing if I will be strong enough that day, or will I be too dizzy to drive and get my sons. Will I pass out from exhaustion today with no warning signs or will I be so nauseated I can’t leave the couch? There are days that are just so hard and yet, I push myself to get through it. I wake up each morning and thank God for all He has done for me and then I praise Him for all my blessings. That positive start to my day is what gets me through, knowing that God is with me every step of the way.
I am not bitter or mad or sad that I am still going through this. I know it just means that I have more trust to put in God and that everything that is happening and has happened is for His glory and for a bigger purpose and picture that I can see. That’s okay with me, I will trust in Him and my journey and just stay on the path He has chosen for me and I will praise Him through the storm and in every day, for I know that I can do anything when I put Him first. Amen.