I never thought I would put obedience and cancer or breast cancer in the same sentence…….however that is what it has been in my case. Through my whole journey of breast cancer, I have found that when I place my complete trust in God and be a yielded vessel through obedience that I am blessed beyond words. It is through nothing I have been able to do on my own, that’s for sure, as I am a person who wants things done now, fix it quick, how can I have it immediately……….and I have learned and continue to learn that it’s never in my timing, but only in Gods divine timing…..
For almost a year I have been on an infusion shot to keep my hormone levels down so that my body is not producing so much estrogen. You see my breast cancer was because I had high estrogen. To this day I still don’t know why my estrogen was or is so high and there’s always been that part of me that has prayed for those answers. I wanted to know why it was high so that perhaps I could “fix it” or see how I could maintain more normal levels naturally. I also knew that I was in the right place at the right time that God provided for me. God provided a way for me to be at MD Anderson when I needed it and I am so thankful for that and everyone God has put in my path.
Now it’s time for God to open new doors to see how I can do things more naturally and to really see why my body is “acting up” or producing too much estrogen instead of just masking it and putting a bandage on it, so to speak. I have prayed for months for there to be a door open for a holistic Doctor or a hospital that would do some tests. I have asked many questions at my appointments because of the horrible side effects I have been having, to be told “there is nothing else we can do for you….” That’s a hard statement to hear when you are not feeling like yourself, and you are putting a shot in you monthly that is making you feel like another person…………I also knew that in Gods amazing timing, a door would open, if I would just put my faith and trust in Him and be obedient.
Last week was a very horrible week for side effects which caused my husband Aaron to research again and this time CTCA (Cancer Treatment Centers of America) popped up. Amazing how that happens isn’t it??? He filled out forms, and withing 12 hours he was on the phone with them and in less than 24 hours, they had an appointment for me. They are flying me up, putting me up in a hotel and testing me from head to toe to see how they can help me…..they will treat me as a person, who is different than anyone else (each person is affected so differently from cancer). They will see why my hormones are high, and respond to all of my side effects that have been going on. Seeing it all take place in 24 hours shows me it was all God – there is no other explanation to have it all happen so quickly and for them to take care of everything………
Is there a part of me that is nervous and a bit anxious? Yes, and I am taking authority over it and standing in God’s strength and comfort instead. It will be challenging taking tons of tests again, and it may bring back memories of when I was first diagnosed…..however, this may provide answers and I believe it will completely take me off of my infusion shot and my body will strengthen because the root problem will be found and worked on. I believe that God is providing exactly what I need because it is His perfect timing for it. Even if there are no complete answers after this trip, I will continue to praise God through it all. He has been faithful, good and loving and He has opened doors where there was none and I see it and I am thankful. I know that there is a reason for this trip and I will meet everyone with a smile and do my best to be a beacon light to everyone I cross paths with and let them know how God has provided this trip.
I also see the extra blessings in this trip…..I’ve never been to Chicago, so I’m excited! It’s an opportunity for me to work my business and expand into Chicago and I believe that’s God opening another door for me to meet some new business partners this week. I know that the more my business grows, the more people I am able to reach with what God has done in my life and He is doing in my life and to be able to glorify Him in all of it. It also gives me a chance to be able to minister to other people that I would not have known if my business did not grow, so there is just so many blessings in this one small trip and I’m so beyond thankful for each one.
I find that many of us are always rushing because we want things done right now, and we think we know what is best. Well, I don’t believe we do know what’s best for ourselves most of the time. God’s plans and ways are always better than ours and what we could even imagine. Gods plans for us are good and if we could just be people that would put our whole trust in Him and let Him do His work, could you imagine how many more hearts and lives we could touch. Yes, we all love the instant gratification of NOW……what if the next time we wanted something we just stepped back, prayed for HIS WILL to be done and then left our burden or our want at the cross as His word says. When we give over all control to God, and we put Him in control, that is when true miracles happen and God can be glorified.
I pray if you are reading this that whatever burden you are carrying is put down and given to God right now and you let Him take control over it…….it is not yours to carry as His word says, my yoke is easy and my burden is light…..so give it to Him and let God direct your paths and bless you beyond what you could imagine…..that’s what I’m doing……and it feels good to not carry around a burden that is not mine to bear…..find strength in your storm by leaning wholly and fully on God and you can praise Him through it…..