This week I am 6 weeks post op from breast reconstruction…..some where in the past two weeks, the pain has faded. I still have some discomfort, however, the pain is gone. There was a few weeks I did not write as I was in daily pain, more then I thought I would be after the reconstruction surgery. That made me more upset then I thought I would be.
I thought, we would do the reconstruction, a week later, tubes out and the next week, I would be good to go……….I wasn’t exactly correct on that one. I know they had to do more then just take out the expanders and put in implants. They had to do several incisions throughout each breast, and fat grafting and suction, I get it. However, I just thought it would be over and done……this was just another way God could show me that it takes time. Healing takes time. Hurt lasts longer then we think. Pain is there, but it goes away when you aren’t looking. Through it all, God helps you with each moment and each day.
I found I was too focused on “when will I feel normal” or “be without pain”. Instead of realizing, I have a “new normal”. My body is not the same, it never will be and that’s okay. I have had to learn to love each day with pain and all and know that it could be much worse and I need to wake up each morning being thankful and so grateful for all I have. Keeping my attitude positive is half the battle, the other half, is leaning wholly on God, knowing that He has it all under HIS control………not my control.
My 6 year old son David looked at me two days ago and said,” MAMA, your arms are crossed!” I hadn’t even noticed they were. I was standing with one hand on my chin and the other crossed below it holding it up while I was standing there. (can you picture it??? it was a “thinking stance!!” hee hee) When he pointed it out, I realized I had not been able to cross my arms across my chest since April 15th, 2014……over 6 months. It seems like such a small thing, but until you can’t cross your arms, you don’t realize how often you do go to cross your arms – believe me!!! His reaction of amazement made me smile so big and reminded me again of how blessed I am.
Without realizing it, I was actually able to cross my arms and my son noticed. Such a small thing was such a big deal and it made my heart smile beyond belief! Then I stopped and realized again that the small things are just so important in life…..with everything. The small smiles, kind words, little hugs and snuggles……….this is what matters. Just like the joy of being able to cross my arms…..so small, and such a HUGE accomplishment at the same time. God is good, all the time.